


Dear Maisie

by jdmfanfiction



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Based on Grey's Anatomy, Denny Duquette - Freeform, F/M, Flashbacks, Maisie (Original Female Character) - Freeform, Medical Jargon, Original Characters - Freeform, Original Female Character - Freeform, Romance, Tears, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-10-17 23:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10604397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdmfanfiction/pseuds/jdmfanfiction
Summary: Maisie receives a letter.(Denny x OFC)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short chapter simply because I didn’t want to give anything away before we get started hehe. Hopefully you guys have your tissues ready because this is going to be _completely_ different than my other Denny Duquette fanfic. I’ll also **attempt** to add some songs, you know, like incredibly sad songs. I hope you guys enjoy this. It’s going to be one emotional rollercoaster.
> 
> Song: _Over You_ by Miranda Lambert

“Marry me.”

I couldn’t believe he was asking me. Here he was, lying on a hospital bed and waiting for any sign of _good_ news about receiving a new, **healthy** heart.  

He extended his hand to cup my cheek. He must have noticed that I was on the brink of tears. I didn’t know what to say, even though I knew what my answer would be.

His eyes were glistening. Being in this hospital for months was beginning to take a toll on him and now that he was on the LVAD, the chances of him going home were slim to none. He was getting antsy and irritated.

Every little thing bothered him, but right now, he was determined.

“Denny,” I whispered.

I didn’t know why I couldn’t find the _one_ simple word that I desperately wanted to say. He didn’t have a ring, but, how could he? He had been attached to this bed for months.

“ _Maisie_ ,” he replied.

His voice was one of the many reasons why I fell in love with him. It was deep and manly, but there were times where it would crack especially when we had serious conversations about what would happen if he didn’t make it.

Those talks were always the worst.

The way my name rolled off his tongue always managed to send a shiver down my spine.

Though, when our eyes met, I knew that he was aware of my answer. Simply because his lips slowly turned into a small grin that showcased his dimples. His eyes that were once glossy now had a glint of relief.

He had lost control of his life, constantly following doctor’s orders, but not now. He just asked me to marry him and for one moment, he gained all control back.

“Yes, Denny. I’ll marry you.”

His small grin broadened. His dimples deepened. And the tears… They were now falling from the corner of his eyes. Just as it was doing to me.

This was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. His shaggy hair. His dimples. His natural sparkly eyes. His dimples. His smile.

I loved everything about him.

The marriage proposal meant everything to him. To _me_. And now, it seemed like a distant memory.

They said everything was going to be okay.

They said that things will soon get better.

But it hasn’t. It hasn’t been since he left.

He promised me.

He said we were going to spend the rest of our lives together.

And after he received the new heart, I knew it was going to be all right. Everything was finally going to fall into place.

Then the one night I decided to catch up on work, he _left_.

I hadn’t even been by his side. I wasn’t there.

Denny died.

 _Alone_.

Everywhere I look, I see him. Everywhere I go, he’s _there_.

I can’t sleep in our bed.

I can’t bring myself up to look through his things. _Our_ things.

His scent lingers around the house.

I shut my eyes and I imagine him sitting at the couch, watching his Seahawks football game.

I imagine him cooking in the kitchen, helping me clean the dishes.

I imagine him singing to me because it made me laugh.

I imagine…

I imagine what our life would have been like if he was still alive.

The kids we would have.

The countless football games and dance recitals he and I would have to attend.

It was once a dream that I thought we could fulfill, but now…

That was never going to happen.

I finally kneel down to touch his tombstone.

_Here lies Dennison Duquette —_

I could never continue reading. Seeing his name was enough for me to start crying in the middle of the cemetery in broad daylight.

“I miss you…” I mumble. My lower lip begins to quiver. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to make it back into the car before I started to cry.

The tears were already streaming down my face.

Jokingly, I create a word on the Scrabble board game that I had placed on the grass near his tombstone. Everything seemed so distant now.

“Your move, Duquette… I’m winning…” My voice is shaky and so are my hands, but I couldn’t move. I wanted to leave so badly. Visiting his grave every day for the past six months had done nothing to help me cope with his death.

Finally, after fifteen minutes of arguing with myself about whether I should leave, I decided to gather my things.

“I’ll be here tomorrow, Denny… I love you, honey.”

The drive back to the house was a hazy one. I kept wiping at my eyes. The tears were nonstop. I had even gotten honked at a few times because I hadn’t moved at a green light. I just —

I was never going to see that smile again.

I was never going to hear his voice again.

He was gone.

And he was never coming back.

Once I make it back to the house, I park at the curb. I couldn’t bring myself to park in the driveway anymore.

I step out of the car and walk to the mailbox. This was a constant routine of mine.

Visit Denny. Check the mail. Cry myself to sleep.

I hadn’t even gone to work in sixth months and I knew the letters in the mail were simply notices for missed payments on my bills.

I hold the mail in my hand and unlock the front door with the other. Walking inside, I shut my eyes and instantly imagine him waiting for me with his hands in his pockets and that knowing grin he loved to use on me.

“Maisie,” he said.

It was like I could hear his voice.

Like he was _here_.

When I open my eyes, I was welcomed with disappointment. The house was empty.

Just like it had been for the past sixth months. I drop my mail onto the coffee table and sit at the couch, staring down at my lap for what seemed like hours.

Until my phone rang.

It was my mother. I knew she was worried about me.

But once I reached for my phone, I took notice of the familiar handwriting on a specific envelope.

There was no return address. No stamp.

It was _Denny’s_ handwriting.

Quickly, I grab the envelope and tear it apart.

Slowly opening the folded piece of paper, my breath catches in my throat and a fresh set of tears pool at my eyes as I read the first two words on the paper.

“ _Dear Maisie_ …”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! The first letter. And of course, adding Ed Sheeran’s song to the mix makes it hit directly in the feels lol. I hope you guys enjoy this! :)
> 
> Song: _Photograph_ by Ed Sheeran

_Dear Maisie,_

_Hi, sweetie._

_Remember our first date? It took me quite a while to gain the courage to ask you out. But when you said yes, I knew I had to do my best to make you realize that I would be the man you wanted to be with. I was **right**. _

_I took you out to the Space Needle and even begged you to come with me to the top. You were holding onto me as if your life depended on it. I know I was constantly teasing you that day, but I loved the way you squeezed my arm when you got scared. I loved it when you moved closer to me when you thought you weren’t safe._

_I loved having you by my side._

_I brought you closer to the large window, overlooking all of Seattle. I could practically hear your heart beating rapidly against your chest. But I knew then, just as I did now, that you were the type of person to put others before herself. You took a risk with me, and I had no idea how rewarding it was to have a fiancée with that quality._

_I know… I know that you’re hurting, baby. And I want nothing more than to just hold you in my arms one last time, to kiss your lips, to feel your arms wrap around me, to see those beautiful eyes and that gorgeous smile…_

_And I miss you just as much as you’re missing me, Maisie. Which leads me to the importance of this letter and the rest that will soon follow._

_I want you to go back to the Space Needle. I want you to go to the top and I want you to overlook all of Seattle. Same time. Same specific spot._

_I know you won’t have anyone to hold on to, but remember, you’re never going to be alone. I’ll **always** be by your side. _

_Until then, Maisie…_

_I love you, sweetheart._

_xoxo, Denny_

**\---**

I see my tears drop onto the piece of paper, staining it at the corner. Instantly, I set it on the table, feeling anger and frustration build within me. What was Denny trying to do? What was he trying to make me realize?

I try to calm myself down, but it isn’t working. The tears are flowing rapidly down my cheeks. Then, I notice the polaroid that had fallen to the carpeted floor.

I knew immediately what the photo was.

Carefully, I pick it up from the floor and turn it around. I feel a sob catch in my throat, seeing the photo that Denny and I had taken together at the Space Needle of our first date.

I have no choice but to follow his order, right? Denny was a man who had a purpose for everything he did. I just couldn’t figure out why he wanted me to go to the Space Needle.

I also couldn’t figure out how I was going to step into that elevator and ride all the way to the top. _Alone_.

I had two hours left before the sun would set. I knew exactly what time Denny wanted me there. On our first date, he had taken me to the top just in time to watch the sun set.

He melted away all my fears.

Pulling on a coat, I grab my bag, the photo, and the letter.

I couldn’t believe I was actually going to listen to Denny. I didn’t know if I could handle crying in front of a crowd of people, but I knew I had to abide Denny’s wishes.

Finally, I park my car and take a hesitant step out. I slowly begin to walk towards the front doors, eyeing the set of elevators before paying for my ticket to go to the top.

“Thank you,” I tell the worker, holding the ticket along with the letter and the polaroid. With a hesitant sigh, I begin walking to the elevators and pressing the button that would bring me to the to.

Once the doors opened, I step inside before a couple rushes inside with me. I smile politely, dropping my eyes to the floor. I could hear the man’s laughter along with the woman’s constant protest about going to the top.

It seemed all too familiar.

“I’ll be right there with you, baby. You don’t have to be scared,” the man comforts.

“I’m afraid of heights…”

I shut my eyes. I could feel the tears were beginning to cloud my eyes. It was as if life was forcing me to reminisce about my first date with Denny.

Finally, the doors open and I allow the couple to step out first. I take a deep breath and step out, looking around to see many people surrounding the area. It was a beautiful view if you weren’t afraid of heights.

I shut my eyes and instantly, the rush of memories come flooding back to my mind.

_“I’m right here,” Denny said._

_“Denny…”_

_“Come on. What’s the worse that could happen? I mean, the entire Space Needle can come crashing down due to the amount of people –”_

_He was grinning._

_“Not funny.”_

_“You’re safe with me. I promise. You always will be.”_

I could practically hear his voice, feel his presence, his touch, but when I open my eyes, I knew it was just my stupid mind playing tricks on me.

Like always.

“Miss? Do you need help?” A worker asks.

I shake my head.

“Oh, uh, no. Sorry. Thank you though.”

I slowly walk towards the specific spot that he and I spent the rest of the night at. I look down at the photo and bite my lower lip. I could practically feel the tears falling down my face at this point.

“What do you want me to see here, Denny?” I ask myself, walking to the window.

As I look out, I decide to take this time to revel in the view. I didn’t know why Denny wanted me to come here, but the view was just as spectacular as it was the first time.

I shut my eyes, wrapping my arms around myself and hearing the distant laughter and chatter coming from the strangers surrounding me.

_“Are you cold?” He asked._

_“No, no. I’m fine.”_

_“Oh, so you’re shivering because you’re afraid this entire Space Needle will collapse?”_

_I grinned, slapping his chest absently. “You know, you’re not funny.”_

_“Really? Because that’s one of my greatest traits. Didn’t you know?”_

_“Must have slipped my mind,” I replied._

_Suddenly, I felt his arms wrap around me from behind. I smiled to myself, leaning back against him. His warmth was something I could get used to._

Slowly, I open my eyes and turn around, hoping to see Denny with his dimpled grin. Once more, I am left disappointed.

I had known Denny long before we started dating. We had gone to school together, had class together, but he and I never crossed that boundary. For some reason, I wished that we had because then I could have had more time with him.

I try and force myself to just enjoy the sunset, but I couldn’t. Not without the constant nagging of memories that were forcing its way out.

I could feel his hands on my body.

I could feel his stubble scratching against my neck.

I could feel his hot breath against my ear.

I look down at the photo and quietly begin to cry. I thought I could do it. I thought I could come here and not shed one tear.

But I was wrong.

It had been _six_ months, and yet, I still treated Denny’s death as if it happened just yesterday.

I look out to the view and bite my lower lip. The sun had finally set and the sky was painted with a pastel color of pink and blue.

I try to force the nagging memories out of my mind and just enjoy the view. Maybe Denny was trying to show me that there was still a world outside of my grief. He must have known that I would stay home and not get anything done once he passed away.

“I get it,” I mumble. “I know what you’re trying to do, Denny…”

_“See? Isn’t it beautiful?” He said._

_“I guess…”_

_“You guess?” Denny laughed._

_“It’s beautiful. The sun is setting and it’s –”_

_“You are,” he interrupted._

_“Stop. Let’s just look at the view.”_

_“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, but you were being a baby all this time.”_

_He laughed and his arms tightened around my frame. I felt safe in his arms._

_“We’re standing here, on top of the world, and I feel like we can conquer anything,” he said._

Suddenly, something in my mind clicks.

Denny was reminding me that just because he was gone didn’t mean that he wasn’t here anymore. Physically, yes, but spiritually, no.

It would explain why I could feel and hear his voice sometimes.

“We can conquer anything,” I repeat. “With you, I can do anything.”

I look down at the photo once more and smile. He was trying to remind me that while I may feel alone, I wasn’t. He was here.

He always would be.

“I get it, Denny… I get it.” I whisper to myself, pocketing the letter and the photo into my bag. I enjoy the view for a few more minutes before deciding to head home and grab a quick bite to eat.

On the way home, I couldn’t stop thinking about my time at the Space Needle. It was the first time in six months that I felt a true connection with Denny.

Though, I know I still wasn’t ready to sleep in our room yet.

After grabbing food, I make my way home. I step into the house and sigh at how lonely it felt. I set the food onto the coffee table after placing the first letter and photograph neatly on the fridge.

I let my fingertips run across the polaroid and I sigh, looking down at the ring on my finger. I don’t think I was able going to take it off.

I walk back to the living room and sit down, taking the food out of the bag and unraveling the wrapper of the burger. I turn on the television and begin watching an old recording that I had not yet finished.

Once I finish my food, I curl onto the couch and lie down, bringing the blanket to my shoulders. I shut my eyes and smile instantly. I always looked forward to sleeping because once I closed my eyes, I see Denny.

Tonight was no different.

As I begin to drift to sleep, his voice calms me down.

_“Good night, beautiful…”_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m formatting this entire story just like _P.S. I Love You_ , which I know many of you have already caught onto. And just like the movie, this is going to break my heart. Either way, I hope you enjoy! ;)
> 
> Song: _Chasing Cars_ by Snow Patrol

_Dear Maisie,_

_Hey, lovebug._

_I’m proud of you for going to the Space Needle; I knew you could do it. You’re probably wondering how I know you went, but I can’t tell you all my secrets, can I?_

_Now, this one’s going to be different and it’s going to be **tough** , but I have a reason for it. I have a reason for all these letters. _

_I’m sure your eyes already caught onto the address that I want you to visit. Do this for me, okay?_

_I’m not going to tell you the purpose for this or for the upcoming letters because I know you’re going to figure it out sooner or later. But, I want you to go to **Seattle Grace Hospital**. Talk to Izzie. She’ll know what to do, honey._

_I’ll talk to you later, okay?_

_Until then, Maisie…_

_I love you, darling._

_xoxo, Denny_

**\---**

I stare at the letter with teary eyes. Yesterday, I had just gone to the Space Needle like he asked and now he wanted me to go to Seattle Grace? Now, it wasn’t making any sense.

Regardless, I oblige Denny’s wishes and decide to go the hospital that I spent majority of my time at.

I make it to the hospital in record timing and I even park in the same parking spot that I usually did whenever I came to spend my nights with Denny. It seemed all too familiar and I could feel tears threatening to spill.

I feel like I was about to visit Denny again, waiting to walk past those sliding doors, into his hospital room to see him lying on his bed with a newspaper in his hand.

But I knew that wasn’t going to happen.

I walk inside the hospital and bite my lower lip. My heart breaks at the familiar sight around me. I knew this hospital like the back of my hand, but when I finally see Izzie, I know that she was waiting for me.

We meet halfway and she gives me a tight hug. It had been six months and yet, it seems like I was the only one who still hadn’t gotten over my _fiancée_.

“Hey,” she says.

“Denny left me a letter…”

“I know. I’ve got two more for you, but I’ll save it for later. Come on.”

I follow Izzie down the hallway. My eyes catch Denny’s old hospital room to see someone else occupying it. Instantly, I bring my hands to wipe away the tears that had fallen. This was tough. I wanted to be able to walk down these halls and come back to that _same_ room to see Denny.

But he was gone.

 **Forever**.

“All right. Here we are,” Izzie says, motioning into a familiar room.

It looks like it was an examination room.

Then suddenly, I was aware of what Denny was talking about.

I drop my bag onto the examination table and instantly sit at the chair near the door.

Denny made me come to the same room, the same hospital when we found out about his condition.

“I don’t know why Denny wanted you to come here, but I’ll leave you alone for a bit, okay? I’ll be just outside,” Izzie whispers, walking out of the room.

I look around the room with teary filled eyes. This was where our first big argument occurred.

It was the first time Denny and I ever considered breaking it off.

“Why are you doing this, Denny?” I mumble, bringing my legs up to my chest on the seat. I shut my eyes and watch as this memory fills my mind once more.

_“Denny, what did Dr. Burke find?” I asked, looking up at him as he sat on the examination table in a white shirt and his track pants._

_“I don’t know, Maisie. I don’t know.”_

_Suddenly, Dr. Burke walked into the room with a solemn look on his face. I knew it was bad news, but I made myself believe that it wasn’t._

_“Denny…” Dr. Burke mumbled._

_“Oh, come on, doc. Don’t sugarcoat it. Give it to me.”_

_“You have viral cardiomyopathy, Denny.”_

_I furrowed my brow. Nothing Dr. Burke was saying was making any sense to me. “I’m sorry, what is that exactly?”_

_“Denny’s not pumping enough blood. His heart, due to the disease, has enlarged which makes it difficult for the blood to pump to the rest of his body. In **some** cases, it can lead to heart failure.” _

_I felt my heart break. Heart failure? Denny was the most active man I’ve ever met. He played sports. He loved to run. He was always on his feet._

_But when I looked at Denny, I noticed all the color in his face slowly disappear. Now it was making sense that he was always out of breath and experiencing chest pains._

_“Heart failure?” Denny finally spoke._

_“Yes, but not in all cases. We are going to do all that we can to help you, Denny. I’ve already put you on the heart transplant waiting list. Now, we just have to be patient.”_

_“So, what – What do we have to do to give him more time?” I asked._

_“I will be prescribing him some medication that will hopefully help. I suggest not doing anything extraneous,” Dr. Burke responded, handing Denny the paper of medication that he had to pick up at the Pharmacy downstairs. “I’ll leave you two to talk.”_

_Once Dr. Burke left the room, Denny tossed the piece of paper onto the ground._

_“Are you serious? My heart can fail because it’s too big?”_

_“Well, you do have a big heart and I love it,” I told him, trying to calm him down though deep down, I was afraid myself._

_“Maisie, not now. I can **die**.” _

_“Don’t talk like that. You won’t.”_

_“How do you know that? What if we’re having sex and all of a sudden, I die because my heart decided to fail? I’m a virile man who needs to be active! I can’t just sit around my ass all day,” Denny argued._

_I walked up to him, resting a hand on his chest and absently running my hands along him. He instantly shoved me aside gently. He was visibly upset._

_“Maisie, stop. You don’t understand.”_

_“What? I don’t understand what you’re going through because it’s not me in your position?! I am your girlfriend, Denny! You don’t think I’m scared? You don’t think I’m upset?!”_

_“How can you be?! **I’m** the one with the condition! Not you!” _

_“Are you kidding me? We’ve been together for three years now and you’re going to pull that on me, Denny?”_

_He didn’t respond. Instead, Denny stared at the floor with a set jaw and narrowed eyes._

_“You should leave. I’ll get a cab on the way home,” he whispered._

_“Denny…”_

_“No, Maisie. I’m not going to put you through this, okay? All this medication, the extra care in my everyday life, **no**. You should go.” _

_“What are you saying?”_

_“If I die, I don’t want you to have to worry about me. I’ll be fine. I always am, but I don’t want you to stay and watch it unfold if it ever comes to that,” he looked up, noticing the tears that were now pooling in my eyes._

_“Why are you losing hope? The important thing is that we caught it and you’re now on the transplant list.”_

_“But I can **die**!” _

_“You’re being absolutely selfish if you think that this news is only effecting you, Denny. I can’t believe you want to throw away three years of our relationship and almost fifteen years of friendship over something that we can work to prevent…”_

_“I care about you too much to let you see me struggle, Maisie.”_

_“Yeah? Well, I care about you too, Denny. I care about you too much that I’m not going to make you deal with this alone. Do you really think you’d listen to Dr. Burke’s advice if I left? This will eat you from the inside; hell, it’s already doing it!”_

_Denny shook his head, “You deserve a man.”_

_“I deserve **you,** goddammit!” _

_When he noticed that I was now crying, Denny instantly stood up. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. I felt his body slightly shake and when I looked up at him, I noticed that he, too, was crying._

_“I’m sorry…” He mumbled._

_“You’re stuck with me, Denny.”_

_I leaned up to peck his lips and he instantly returned the kiss. After a few moments, I pulled away to look into his eyes, wiping his tears away. “We’re going to get through this. I promise.”_

_“With you by my side? **Always** ,” Denny replied._

I stand up, shutting my eyes as I feel Denny’s presence once more. I could feel his arms wrap around me as I quietly begin to cry. I promised him that he was going to be okay and now, he was gone.

“I’m so sorry, Denny,” I whisper, shutting my eyes. I could see him walking towards me with his arms wide open. It usually was a sign that he knew I was upset and he was going to comfort me.

_“It’s not your fault.”_

I could hear him and maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me, but for a brief moment, I feel his touch. I could smell his scent. I could hear his _voice_. I could see his smile. I could look into his eyes.

“I miss you so much,” I bite my quivering lower lip, the tears hitting the floor repeatedly. “I promised you… Promises were always so important to us and I let you down. I’m so sorry…”

_“Chin up, beautiful.”_

I open my eyes and look around the empty room. I look down at the ring on my left hand, ring finger and quietly begin to cry. It probably wasn’t a good idea to cry inside of an examination room that any doctor could use.

I am broken out of my reverie when I hear the door open and Izzie walks in with Dr. Burke. They look at me with concerned eyes and I quickly grab my bag.

“Maisie,” she calls. “The letters…”

I take the two letters from her hands and leave the room in a hurry. I continue to cry all the way to my car. Everything that Denny wanted me to do has made me miss him even more. I could tell that I was starting to lose my mind.

Once I make it to my car, I look at the envelope with the number **two**. Was it an addition to the second letter I received earlier?

I hesitate and decide not to open it until I get home.

Though, once I do get home, I instantly grab my bag and the two envelopes quickly. I walk inside and drop my things, save for the second letter and begin to read:

_Our first big argument. Not a day goes by that I wish I never said the things I did that day. I was being selfish. I wasn’t thinking about you. I was simply thinking about **me**. But then I looked at you. I looked past my stubbornness and really looked at you that day._

_You were crying. You were a big of a mess as I was. And I knew that you would never leave my side even if I asked you to._

_You took such great care of me, Maisie. You made sure I took my medicine, made sure I wasn’t overexerting myself. You were so **patient** with me and I knew that it was tough on you. I knew that that day in particular was difficult. _

_And I am so sorry for losing hope so quickly. I wish that I was more understanding. I wish I could have asked you then to marry me because now that we’re engaged, I don’t think I can wait any longer._

_These letters… If you receive them and if you’re reading them right now, it means we **lost**. But, I wanted you to go to Seattle Grace today to remind you that despite this losing battle, we still managed to conquer what was thrown at us in the process. _

_That day… You made me fall in love with you all over again._

_So, you know what? I want you to go to our bedroom. Grab one of my t-shirts because I know you haven’t thrown anything out. Wear those cute lavender lace panties that you always loved to tease me with and nothing but that and my shirt._

_Then, get into bed, sleep on your side of the bed, and shut your eyes._

_I promise. I’ll be right next to you, honey._

_I’ll be waiting, love._

_xoxo, Denny_

**\---**

I set the letter down with the envelope and notice the polaroid that he attached it with. It a was a photo that I had taken of him when he was asleep. He must have gone through my photos to get this.

Instantly, I feel myself begin to cry once more. I bring the letter to the kitchen and place it onto the fridge alongside the first letter. I hold the photograph tightly in my grasp and hesitantly walk towards the bedroom.

It had been six months since I slept in here. So, when I open the door to see the bed that I once shared with Denny, my heart begins to ache even more.

I walk to the closet, trying desperately to avoid his lingering scent. I should have left a window open because my senses are filled with the cologne he usually wore.

I look through the clothes that were still hung in the closet. I let my fingertips run across each fabric of the shirt before rummaging through one of his white t-shirts. I slip it on and shut my eyes; I could feel him around me.

I abide Denny’s wishes and walk to the bed, lying on my side which was near the window. I place the polaroid onto his side of the bed and shut my eyes, crying quietly to myself. The tears that had fallen begin to stain the bedsheets and suddenly, I feel a quick breeze rush past me.

I open my eyes to look around the empty room, shaking my head.

“Get it together, Maisie,” I mumble to myself.

I glance at the polaroid that was resting on his pillow, biting my lower lip. I could remember just like it was yesterday when I took that photo. He was snoring, which he had denied many times, but he looked peaceful.

It was a few months after we found out about his condition and sleep was the only time I noticed where he was at ease. He didn’t seem like he was struggling to catch his breath.

Slowly, I allow myself to shut my eyes once more.

And then, I could hear his voice.

_“I’m never going to leave your side, honey…”_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then I regretted creating this story because I don’t know why I wanted to make myself cry ;-( . Enjoy though! I’ve got an idea of where I want this to go…
> 
> Song: _You and Me_ by Lifehouse

It had been a couple of days since I received a letter. I didn’t know what I was doing. Every minute, I watched the mailman drop the mail into the mailbox, hoping that I would see Denny’s familiar handwriting.

I knew that holding onto something as silly as his letters would simply just prevent me from moving on. Despite the letters, Denny was able to get me out of the house. I even talked to my boss about coming back into work and he was more than happy to hear that I wanted to go back to work. I was even able to go through his things, though, it took me an entire day to do so.

His lingering scent still wafted throughout the house, reminding me of the man I had fallen in love with.

Suddenly, I hear a knock. I walk towards the door and once I open it, the mysterious person had already left. I look down to see a large box and a letter taped atop of it.

It was Denny.

I smile.

He was always catching me off guard.

I excitedly bring the items into the house and quickly sit at the couch. I open the letter with care and notice the photo of Denny and I when I managed to take him out dancing – despite his protests.

Slowly, I open the envelope and begin to read the letter:

_Dear Maisie,_

_You’re probably wondering why there’s a box attached to this letter. You’re also probably wondering why I gave you **that** particular photo. _

_When we first started dating, I knew you loved to dance. You loved to let loose and the music did just the job for that. I’m sure you remember that night. Because I sure do._

_I picked you up after my constant protests about not being able to dance. But the moment you opened that door, my breath was absolutely taken away. You were the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on._

_You were wearing a red, sleeveless dress with thin straps and the front slightly exposed your legs. It was classy, and it was **sexy**. You rendered me speechless, Maisie. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Even at the bar, in the midst of the crowded room, my eyes always found you._

_Since we found out about my condition, we didn’t have the chance to go out dancing again. I always urged you to go, but you said you couldn’t imagine a night filled of dancing and drinks without me there._

_But, you know what, tonight will be that night, honey._

_There’s the same red dress in that box, except it’s in black. We can’t have other guys staring at **my girl**. Go out with a few of your girlfriends. Have a few drinks. **Dance** …_

_Overall, have fun, Maisie. I know I won’t be there, but it’s time for you to stop worrying about me and start focusing on yourself._

_Just, you know, remember that I’ll always be your only dance partner. If you can’t seem to dance tonight, shut your eyes, and I’ll be there._

_I’ll always be there for you, baby._

_Now, get yourself dolled up and have a good night._

_Until then, Maisie…_

_I love you, beautiful._

_xoxo, Denny_

**_­_ \---**

My heart breaks once I open the box. Denny was right. It was the same exact dress, just in a different color. I didn’t know if I could do this. I didn’t know if I was able to abide by his wishes in this letter.

Suddenly, I am broken out of my reverie when I hear a set of knocks at my front door. I wasn’t expecting any visitors, so when I open the door to see two of my best friends, I knew that Denny planned this all along.

“Denny would be angry if he knew that you weren’t getting ready right now,” Charlotte says.

It was in that moment that I finally break down in a pool of tears. They quickly lead me back into my home, arms wrapped around me to quiet my cries.

“I don’t think I can do this… I can’t…” I tell them.

Emma sighs, rubbing my back soothingly. “I think we have to give you something else.”

I wipe my eyes, looking up at the two other women. “What is it?”

Charlotte bites her lower lip. There was something they knew that they weren’t telling me.

“Denny gave us something to give to you. He knew that you wouldn’t be able to go out tonight, so… _Here_ ,” Emma sets a USB into my hand.

“There’s only one recording and it’s to accompany this letter,” Charlotte adds.

Quickly, I run to my laptop in my bedroom. I shut the door behind me and place the USB into its respective socket into my computer.

When I notice the recording, I immediately click play.

That was when I heard his voice.

And everything started crashing down.

_“Hey, love.” Denny began._

I gasp, shutting my eyes and wiping my eyes despite the continuous trail of tears.

_“I had Charlotte and Emma keep this for me just in case you didn’t cooperate. You miss me, huh?”_

“Yeah, you jackass. I miss you so goddamn much,” I mumble to myself. It was as if I was talking to him. With my eyes closed, I could imagine him speaking to me, waiting for him to wrap his arms around me and kiss my forehead.

_“You know you deserve this night out. What can go wrong? You have a couple of drinks with your best friends, dance a bit, then head home. You gotta do this for me, baby. Please.”_

I bite my lower lip. I knew what the purpose of the letters were supposed to be. It was supposed to help me cope with his death, but instead, it was doing the complete opposite. I couldn’t imagine myself living without him and here he was, making me relive every moment I shared with him.

_“For once in the eight years we have been together, it’s time that you put yourself first. Remember, shut your eyes, and I’ll be there. Because like I said in the letter, I could never, and **will never** , take my eyes off you, Maisie. Now, get in that bathroom. Get ready. Wear that dress with me in mind, of course, and head out with your friends.” _

I could hear the faint noise of the hospital machines buzzing in the background. It makes me remember all the nights I spent at the hospital by his side, making sure he was okay. I knew there was no way that Denny would find out if I went out dancing or not, but I _had_ to do this.

“I’ll be right out!” I yell to my friends. They walk to the room and hand me the dress once I open the door.

“You’re going to be a total knockout,” Charlotte grins.

“We’re going to have a great time. Get ready, Maisie. We’ll be outside,” Emma smiles.

I shut the door behind me and walk to the bathroom. I stare at myself for a moment. It had been so long since I found the need to put make-up on or even dress remotely classy.

It takes an hour before I walk out of the room, wearing the black dress and my nude heels. My hair was curled and I put just enough make-up on that it looked natural. The red lips added color to my monochromatic outfit and when I walk to the living room, I imagine Denny sitting at the couch with flowers in his hands.

As I stand before Charlotte and Emma, my eyes fall shut and I hear Denny’s voice linger in the back of my mind.

_“Absolutely gorgeous…”_

I must have begun to daydream because before I know it, I feel a set of hands gently shake my shoulders.

“Maisie, are you okay?” Charlotte asks.

“What? Oh, yeah. Sorry.” I sigh, glancing over at her. “Should we get going?”

“Just going to grab dinner first then we can head to the bar,” Emma replies.

The entire ride to the restaurant allows me to stare outside the window of the back of the cab. I couldn’t help but allow myself to imagine that Denny was the one sitting next to me. I could practically feel his hovering hands from the night that he decided to join me for a night of dancing.

“So, this place has the _best_ pasta. Denny suggested this place,” Charlotte says.

I turn my head and smile, “He knows how much I love pasta.”

Emma smiles sadly. “How are you doing, by the way? Your mom says she can’t get a hold of you these days.”

I shrug, “I’ve been doing better. These letters are helping me cope, I guess. I still think of him, still imagine that he’s here.”

“He was good for you. Eight years… I can’t even imagine myself and Ethan being together for that long before he popped the question,” Charlotte chuckles.

“Denny always enjoyed hanging out with Ethan and Jason,” I tell them.

Charlotte and Emma were married now and when they found out that Denny had a heart condition, they didn’t press the subject of marriage any further.

The dinner was quiet. Charlotte and Emma were talking about both of their husbands and all I could do was listen. I glance around the restaurant, imagining Denny sitting next to me. He never did like to sit across from me when we were out for dinner.

“So, Denny’s got these letters all planned out, huh?” Emma asks.

I shrug, “I guess so. So far, I’ve got three. I don’t know how many more I’m supposed to receive. I just – I read these letters. I see these pictures and I miss him even more. He wasn’t supposed to leave me so soon…”

Charlotte sighs. “You both would have made such adorable babies.”

I laugh quietly, biting my lower lip. It was different. I was able to talk about him without any tears stinging my eyes.

“That’s what he always said, too…”

Slowly, I shut my eyes despite how odd it may have looked.

_“You do know I want at least ten kids with you,” Denny teased._

_“Ten?! What do I look like to you?” I laughed, snuggling up to his side. We had finally been released from the hospital_

_“Well, I just want as many kids as I can have with you. I mean, can you imagine what our kids will look like? With your eyes and my dimples… They’ll be breaking hearts left and right.”_

_I smiled. I always loved talking about our future._

_“Ten is a bit too much though, Denny.”_

_“Fine. Seven?”_

_“Oh, you’re funny,” I smiled, kissing his cheek._

_He smiled, looking into my eyes. “I love you, Maisie.”_

_“I love you too, Denny.”_

_“First, we get the wedding out of the way and then we start baby making,” he winked._

_“I don’t mind starting now.”_

_“ **Oh**. Now, you see, teasing me like that? That’s not good when I’ve got a new heart,” he grinned. _

I could hear his voice and I could see just how lively his smile was with the deep dimples that I always had a weakness for.

“Why do you keep closing your eyes?” Charlotte asks.

“Oh, nothing.”

Once we make it to the bar, I hear the music coming from outside. I didn’t know if I could step inside. All I could think back to was Denny and how I practically dragged him to the dance floor.

We spent that entire night dancing.

“Come on. I’ll buy first rounds,” Emma offers, walking inside and heading straight to the bar.

I follow hesitantly, looking around the familiar area. I didn’t know why Charlotte and Emma decided to come here, but everywhere I looked, I see Denny.

_“So, are you going to dance with me or what?” I teased, running my hands up along his chest._

_Denny sipped from his beer, looking down at me. “I’m a man of my word. I said I was going to dance with my girl and that is exactly what I’m going to do.”_

_He led me to the dance floor. I was surprised. Denny had rhythm and he knew exactly how to dance to the beat of the music._

_Though, throughout the night, we spent majority of our time staring into each other’s eyes while our bodies moved absently to the playlist. It was as if we were stuck in a trance._

I shiver once I feel someone’s hand rest on my shoulder. I look up to see that it was Charlotte motioning to the bartender of what I would like to drink.

“Just a beer for me,” I mumble.

“Let’s dance!” Emma grins, taking me to the dance floor with Charlotte trailing behind.

For a brief moment, I begin to enjoy myself. I allow myself to let loose. I let Denny become an afterthought.

I finally focus on _myself_.

However, an hour into our stay at the bar, I hear someone clear their throat. I was leaning against the counter of the bar and glance over my shoulder to see a handsome man staring down at me with a charming smile.

“Hi,” he says nervously.

“Oh, hi.”

“Would you like to dance?”

Immediately, I shake my head and decide to **lie**.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I’m engaged,” I smile politely, holding up my left hand to reveal the engagement ring that Denny had given me after he proposed.

“No, no! It’s my fault. I should have taken notice. Have a good night though.” He walks away with a nod and instantly, I sigh.

I realize that I would never be able to get over Denny. There was no other man out there that would amount to Denny.

Charlotte and Emma walk over to me. They must have seen the entire situation unfold.

“Is everything okay?” They ask.

“Yeah. I just – I would like to go home now.”

“We just got here,” Emma says.

“I didn’t say _we_ could go home. You two can stay here. I’m going to go home. I can’t do this.”

Charlotte walks after me and sighs, pulling me into a hug. I force myself to hold back my tears, desperately trying to prevent myself from crying.

“We’re here, okay? Please, don’t forget that you’re not alone, Maisie.”

“Thanks. Good night, guys. Honestly, I appreciate it. Tonight was fun,” I give them a half-smile and immediately leave the bar to hitch a cab.

I make it back to the house within thirty minutes. Immediately, I remove the dress and the make-up that I was wearing.

I didn’t know what courage I had to go out tonight, but I realized that I wasn’t ready.

I didn’t know if I ever would be.

I settle into my bed and sigh.

All I could think and see and hear is Denny.

There was no way I was going to ever come to terms with his death.

Now, I was just counting the days until I was reunited with him. Slowly, I allow myself to fall asleep to the sound of Denny’s voice and his charming smile.

_“I couldn’t take my eyes off you…”_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then I regretted creating this story because I don’t know why I wanted to make myself cry ;-( . Enjoy though! I’ve got an idea of where I want this to go…
> 
> Song: _Perfect_ by Ed Sheeran

The following morning after my night out, I open my eyes in hopes that Denny would be lying next to me. I know that I am crazy for even wishing for something like that to happen. My entire life seems like a nightmare that I cannot seem to wake up from.

I am getting ready to visit Denny at the cemetery before I decide to check my mail. Maybe the letter would come earlier than usual.

I’m dressed in leggings, a light sweater underneath a coat and boots. As I walk to the mailbox, I look up at the cloudy sky. It seems like another rainstorm was going to pass through the city.

I drop my eyes to the mailbox, grinning to myself once I see the envelope with my name written on the front of it. These letters were now something I was looking forward to everyday. Half of me is afraid that I will get too attached to the point that when these letters finally end, I’ll be back at square one.

I hurriedly walk back into the house. I sit at the couch and quickly open the envelope. I take the picture out first, biting my lower lip at the sight of Denny at the hospital. He was hooked up to a few machines to help track his condition.

Slowly, I open the piece of paper and begin to read:

_Dear Maisie,_

_I know I asked you to go to Seattle Grace before, but this is another favor I need to ask of you. There’s an older gentleman that I met while I was there. He’s currently waiting for you to visit. You’ll understand the purpose of why I’m doing what I’m doing._

_And if you still hadn’t caught on, then you’re not coping, honey. You can’t hold onto me forever…_

_I know this is tough. I know how hard it is for you to see me lying on this hospital bed, not being able to do anything but just snuggle with me, but I can assure you that having you here by my side is more than enough._

_It makes me want to fight and fight until we conquer this._

_I’m currently watching you sleep. You’re on the chair tonight, despite my protests. Your legs are curled up against your chest and your cheek is resting against the side of your arm. You finally look peaceful for once in a really long time._

_I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Maisie. You didn’t have to be here. You didn’t have to take lesser hours at work to be here with me. It had been five years of nonstop hospital visits. I know you’re tired, but not once have you ever made this situation about **you**. It was always me, me, me. _

_I wish I could scoop you up like old times. I wish I could toss you over my shoulder whenever you’re being a little brat – that always shut you up. I wish I could look into your eyes and see my certain future._

_You gave me hope when I was beginning to lose it. You made me smile when all I wanted to do was cry and be angry at the world. You made me laugh, despite my condition. You made me feel alive again when all I wanted to do was succumb to my enlarged heart._

_You always said that I had a big heart, but all of it belonged to you._

_I’m looking at you and you’re just as beautiful as you were the day I saw you walking down the halls to go to your locker in high school._

_Maisie, I love you so much… I will always love you._

_I can’t imagine letting you go, but we have to think of both sides of the spectrum and I know it’s a difficult topic, but we have to be realistic._

_I’m going to miss the way you scrunched your nose whenever you giggled. I’m going to miss the way your eyes sparkled whenever you looked at me. I’m going to miss your warm hugs, your lingering kisses…_

_I will never give you up, beautiful. You have my heart, and you always will._

_Now, go ahead and go to Seattle Grace. Ask for Teddy._

_Until then, Maisie…_

_I love you, sweetheart._

_xoxo, Denny_

**\---**

I bite my lower lip. Throughout the letter, I couldn’t help but imagine Denny’s longing stares. I imagine his piercing brown eyes staring directly at me and the most genuine smile I have ever seen. He always loved to watch me talk to a point where he always got carried away.

I don’t know why life decided to give us a glimpse of our future only for it to be taken away as soon as it was given to us. He had a new heart. Everything was supposed to run smoothly, but one night, he just – Denny was gone.

I make it to the hospital and take a deep breath. I check in at the nurse’s station and before I could even let the patient’s name escape my lips, I hear Izzie’s voice.

“Here to see Teddy?” she asks.

I nod, “Denny’s orders.”

“You’re going to like this,” Izzie smiles.

I furrow a brow and walk into a hospital room. I notice an older man lying on the bed, looking down at the newspaper in hand. He must have been doing a crossword puzzle which Denny loved to do.

“Theodore, you’ve got a visitor…”

“Is it Maisie?” he asks, looking up from his glasses.

“Hi…” I mumble, sitting at the chair.

Without hesitation, he drops the newspaper and pencil onto his lap before his hands immediately reach out to take your own. Once you feel his hands, you immediately break down and begin to cry.

“Ah, honey…”

“I’m sorry… I didn’t – It’s been a while since I’ve been sitting in a hospital room.”

“So, you’re Dennison’s girl… He was right. You’re quite the looker,” Teddy winks.

I laugh quietly, wiping my tears away.

“W – Why are you in the hospital?” I ask.

Without responding, Teddy takes the stethoscope that Izzie must have left. He hands it to me and I hesitantly take it.

“Go ahead. Put it on, love,” he says.

Slowly, I put on the stethoscope. He guides the end to his chest and suddenly, his heartbeat fills my ears. I shut my eyes and focus on the strong heartbeat. It reminded me so much of Denny and how I always fell asleep to the sound of his own.

“W – What? I don’t understand…” I tell him, removing one eartip.

“Denny was a donor, did you know that? When he found out about my condition, he said he would do anything he can to fix it, to help me. So, you’re listening to your fiancée’s beating heart, Maisie.”

Instantly, tears cloud my eyes. I thought I would never be able to hear his heartbeat again and now that I was able to hear it, I couldn’t help the flood of tears that pools around my eyes.

“Denny…” I whisper, my eyes falling shut. Like clockwork, I imagine him standing behind me with his arms placed on my shoulders and his lips at the crown of my head.

I simply focus on the Teddy’s heartbeat, smiling sadly to myself. It was now making sense why Denny decided to fill out the ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ form that led to a big argument.

Slowly, I pull the stethoscope away and wipe my tears away. I look up at Teddy to see a genuine smile lining his lips.

“I know. You must be thinking. I’m old and why did I survive when your fiancée didn’t…”

“I’m not –”

“Denny reminded me so much of myself when I was younger. He knew how important family was to me, how in love I was with my wife… He gave me another chance at life and I will be forever grateful.”

I bite my lower lip. More tears were threatening to spill from the corner of my eyes, but I do my best to hold it back.

“Denny’s always thinking about others…”

“He said the same thing about you. I would visit him and he’d always mention you. Maisie this… Maisie that… He told me he would catch himself staring at you while you talked. When you two had that argument about him signing the DNR form, he came to me for advice. Told him that he had to ask you to marry him,” the older man adds.

I look down at my lap, noticing my engagement ring almost immediately. “He did… He proposed and – We never got to walk down that aisle. Every day for the past six months have been hard, Teddy. I close my eyes and I see him. Sometimes, I feel his presence. I feel his arms around me. I hear his soothing voice. I see his contagious smile, his dimples, his eyes… But when I open my eyes, I’m disappointed. He’s gone and I can’t – I’m waiting to wake up from this nightmare.”

“Honey, Maisie…” Teddy reaches out for my hand, instantly taking my own. “You know he’d want you to move on.”

“I know… I know that, but I _can’t_. I have been with him for the past eight years of my life and just six months ago… He was taken from me. I can’t see him anymore. I can’t feel his arms around me. I can’t feel his lips. I can’t fall asleep with him by my side… We were supposed to get married, have ten kids –”

Teddy smiles sadly, “Ten kids?”

“Denny wanted to have as many kids as possible,” I laugh quietly.

Teddy chuckles, “Chin up, beautiful. He may not physically be here, but he’s always with you.”

I raise my head to look up at him. Teddy reminds me so much of Denny and instantly, I wrap my arms around him. I cry into his shoulder, taking in his comfort.

“Can I – Can I listen to your heartbeat?” I ask hesitantly.

He smiles, “Of course, honey.”

I spend the next hour and a half listening to Teddy’s heartbeat. I am broken out of my reverie when I hear the door open to see a smaller, older woman. She was holding a bag of food.

“Running off on me already?” she teases, leaning over to kiss Teddy’s cheek.

“It’s Denny’s fiancée,” he replies.

Immediately, she looks over at me and offers a sympathetic smile. “Maisie…”

“H – Hi…”

“Denny was such a sweetheart. I’m so sorry, honey…”

Catching me off guard, she wraps her arms around me in a comforting hug. I quickly return the gesture, wrapping my own arms around her tiny frame. She rubs my back and quietly whispers into my ear, “Shh, Maisie… It’s okay.”

Suddenly, I cry against her. She comforts me with her gentle rubs on my back. However, slowly, I pull away and wipe my tears. I begin to apologize, but she shakes her head and wipes my tears for me.

“I’m Lily, but don’t even think about apologizing. Denny must have given you the letter.”

I nod, “He’s been sending me letters. I don’t know how many I’m supposed to get, but I have a feeling that it’s going to end soon.”

“He said he would end the letters at a certain point when you finally realize the purpose of it,” Lily replies.

“What if I don’t ever understand it?”

“You will, Maisie. You just have to focus on what Denny’s really saying rather than using it to bring him back. I know he’s gone, but you’re still here. You’re still alive and you still have a life that you need to live,” Teddy adds.

“It’s difficult…”

“Sweetheart… Just because you can’t physically see Denny doesn’t mean that he’s not here. Believe me… That young man’s stubborn. Not even death will keep him away from you,” Lily comments.

I smile sadly. It was true. Denny was hardheaded.

“I’ll – I’ll focus more on myself. Thank you.” I hug Teddy and Lily once more. “I should get going… Is it okay if I visit you guys regularly?”

Teddy smiles, “You’re welcome to visit anytime, Maisie.”

“Of course, honey,” Lily grins.

After the hospital visit, I drive to Denny’s grave in the cemetery and lay out a small blanket. I sit down and rest a hand on his tombstone before quietly crying to myself.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to see here, Denny… What I’m supposed to understand…” I allow my eyes to fall shut and immediately, I hear his voice.

_“Wipe those tears. You’re too beautiful to cry.”_

I whip my head at the sound of his voice and look around frantically. The cemetery was empty. I curse to myself and shake my head. I’m becoming crazy.

“I just want to be with you already.”

_“Like I said, close your eyes and I’m there, Maisie. I’m always going to be here. I made a promise to you that I would never leave.”_

I cry quietly to myself. I’m losing my mind.

“I want you to wrap your arms around me and tell me that everything will be okay, dammit.”

Suddenly, I feel something hover along my frame. I shut my eyes and imagine Denny, leaning back against his tombstone gently.

_“I love you, Maisie…”_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Song:** _The Night We Met_ by Lord Huron

I awake today not wanting to do anything. I could feel Denny’s arms around me. I could feel the scratchy stubble running along my neck. I could hear his quiet breaths in my ear.

I thought I was making progress in grieving the right way, but I was wrong. I spend the entire morning lying on the bed, curled on my side. I know I should get up to start my day, but somehow, I feel glued to the bed.

I had taken the letters and photos from the fridge to place on the bed; it remains scattered. I glance at a few of the polaroids and shut my eyes, tears immediately falling from my eyes.

“I can’t do this, Denny…” I mumble to myself, clutching the blanket closer to my chest.

Suddenly, I am broken out of trance at the sound of the doorbell ringing. Maybe if I didn’t answer, the person would go away.

“Maisie, it’s your mother. Open up!”

I sigh deeply and drag my feet over the edge of the bed, watching as it hit the floor. I grab Denny’s sweater and pull it over my head, walking towards the front door. Once I open it, my mother walks in with a box of pizza and two cups of coffee.

“Pizza and coffee, mom?”

“Honey… This place is an absolute mess.” she sighs, setting the coffee and pizza down onto the counter in the kitchen before she begins to clean up.

“Mom… Stop, please…”

“How do you expect to live like this, Maisie?”

“Mom! _Please_!”

I bite my lower lip, shutting my eyes and instantly seeing Denny. I couldn’t do this anymore. Living without him wasn’t something I wanted to continue doing. If my mother knew what was going on in my mind, I’m sure she would have kept me on lockdown.

“Maisie… It’s been six months.”

“I don’t care how long it’s been, mom! I **lost** him! He’s gone! I – I _can’t_ anymore… Eight years of my life, gone… Just like that.”

Suddenly, my mother wraps her arms around me. I lean against her, my arms wrapping around her weakly as my face buries against her neck. She allows me to cry, letting out the emotions that needed to be released.

“I miss him too, you know… He was good for you. Reminded me so much of your father,” she says quietly.

I cry harder. My mother, of all people, understood what I was going through. I lost my father when I was still young and she had no choice but to move on because she had to take care of me.

“Mom… He’s been – He’s sent me letters,” I admit.

She looks down at me, tucking a few strands of hair behind my ear. “I know. I’ve got a letter with me.”

I widen my eyes. “W – What?”

“And also a DVD. Denny specifically instructed me to be here when you watch it,” she responds.

“That must mean that whatever this letter entails… It’s going to hurt me.”

“Not hurt you… Bring back good memories,” my mother says.

“Denny told you to bring coffee and pizza, didn’t he?” I ask.

She laughs quietly, nodding. “That man thinks of everything.”

My mother reaches into her purse and pulls out the envelope, handing it to me. I take it slowly, opening it and noticing the CD and the letter. A photo was missing with this letter, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t know if I could take another visual memory of Denny.

“I’ll grab the pizza and coffee. We can watch it in the living room,” my mother says.

I nod, walking to the DVD player. I take the CD from its case and notice Denny’s handwriting. I bite my lower lip and read the simple two words written on the CD: _Play me._

I input the CD and walk to the couch, sitting next to my mom. I grab a slice of pizza and turn on the television. Once I click play, my heart skips a beat when I see Denny on the television.

“Mom…” I whisper, tears clouding my eyes.

“I’m right here, honey… I’m right here.”

I immediately knew what was on the CD. It was the many videos that we had taken during our relationship.

I set my half-eaten slice of pizza down onto a plate and bring my legs up to my chest as my eyes remain glued to the television. I wonder when Denny found the time to create this, but I realize that he must have had someone do it for him.

_“Come on, Maisie… Dance with me.” he said, pulling me up from the couch and wrapping his arms around my waist._

_“Denny…” I glanced around, noticing the small camera pointing at us._

_“You deserve a break from all that studying. Now, focus on me, baby.”_

I watch as my arms wrapped around his neck. He was swaying me back and forth to the quiet music that was playing in the background. Watching this specific recording made me miss him even more.

_“God, you’re so beautiful,” he said._

_“Okay, what do you want?” I teased._

_Denny laughed, “I just want to let my girlfriend know how beautiful she is. That’s all.”_

_I buried my face against him, smiling instantly when I felt his lips kiss my temple. “You’re a hopeless romantic, you know that?”_

_“It’s one of the many reasons why you love me.”_

I wipe my eyes, watching as the scene fades and another one appears instantly. Denny and I were sitting in the back of a cab and he was holding out the phone to face the both of us.

_“A night out in the city with my lady… I like it,” he grinned, leaning over to kiss my cheek._

_I looked up at the camera and blushed, turning my head to peck his lips. “You and your need to record everything we do.”_

_“What? They’re memories that we will look back on when we’re both old, grey, and wrinkly,” he teased._

_“Oh, I can’t wait to watch these back with you with our kids around us.”_

_Denny grinned, “I can’t wait, honey.”_

The recording ended and as I continue watching various homemade videos that Denny and I created in our relationship, I realize that I didn’t want it to end.

I shut my eyes, listening to the sound of Denny’s voice from the DVD. I grip my legs tighter, holding it closer to my chest.

When the DVD ended, my mother stands from the couch and takes it from the player. She sets it back into the case and looks down at me, kissing the crown of my head.

“Want to talk about it?” she asks.

“How am I supposed to get over him? How am I supposed to live my life without him, mom?”

“You need to remember that you _aren’t_ getting over him, Maisie. He’s gone… Nothing will bring him back, sweetheart. You don’t get over him… You simply continue living your life **for** him,” she replies.

“It’s hard, mom. I close my eyes and I see him. I could feel him around me. Last night… I fell asleep thinking that his arms were around me. It was the first time in six months that I actually had a good night’s sleep.

“I woke up knowing that whatever I felt… It wasn’t real. He’s never going to walk through that door again. He’s never going to kiss me again. He’s never going to hold me when I’m crying…” I stutter, wiping the endless tears that continue to fall.

“Maisie…”

“I’m never going to hear his voice. I’m never going to see that smile. I’m never going to look into those eyes… I **cannot** do this anymore, mom.”

“What are you saying, Maisie? You’ll get through this. I know you can. _Denny_ knows, eventually, that you’ll be able to live your life again,” she says soothingly.

“How does he know, mom? How can he possibly know?! He’s not here anymore!”

My mother simply remains quiet, holding me against her as I continue to cry. The letters weren’t serving its original purpose. I pull away to wipe my tears, looking up at my mother and sighing quietly.

“I want to be alone…”

“Maisie… You know I can’t do that.”

“Mom, please… Leave.”

“Maisie…”

“Mom! Please!”

She sighs, standing from the couch. She grabs her bag and leans down to kiss the crown of my head. I shut my eyes and stand up, leading her to the front door. Before she decides to walk away, I pull her into a tight hug, kissing her cheek.

“I love you, mom…”

“I love you too, Maisie. Please call me before you go to bed tonight, okay?”

I slowly nod, watching my mother walk into her car and drive away. I shut the door and play the DVD once more. I sit at the couch and pull my legs onto it, grabbing the letter and slowly opening it.

In the background, I hear Denny’s voice from the television. I know I was torturing myself, but I needed this. I needed _him_.

Instantly, I begin to read:

_Dear Maisie,_

_I bet it was nice to see my face again, wasn’t it? Now, this letter serves no purpose except for me to tell you that I love you. I hope you liked the little edit I made for you. I also hope that your mother was there with you while you watched it._

_My favorite one was when we were dancing in the living room. You looked so stressed out, so I had to do something about it._

_I wish I could do that again. I wish I could take away all your worries and stress._

_I remember the first time I laid eyes on you. It was the first day of high school, and you were walking to your locker and damn, Maisie, you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. When we made eye contact, time stood still._

_God, you were so beautiful. Then the bell rang. You disappeared from my sight._

_But once I walked into homeroom, I noticed you immediately. I flashed you a smile and you returned it almost instantly. I sat next to you instead of sitting with people I knew and I never knew how much of a great decision it was._

_I always said that you changed my life, Maisie, and it’s true. I relive the moment we met constantly._

_When we reconnected after college, I knew I had to take my chance with you. We went to the Space Needle. Our first date._

_I went home that night and I knew._

_I **knew** you were **it**._

_You were my happy ending, Maisie._

_You always will be._

_And I love you… So fucking much, baby._

_This is just as hard on me as it is on you. I won’t ever get to hold you in my arms again. I won’t ever get to see you smile, hear you laugh… I won’t ever get to have the chance to see you walk down that aisle on our wedding day…_

_And I’m so **sorry**. You never asked for this, but I am so thankful that you stuck by my side all this time._

_The eight years I have spent with you have been the best eight years of my life, Maisie. You have my heart… You had it the moment I laid eyes on you._

_I miss you, baby, so much._

_You’re going to get through this, honey. I **know** it._

_So, chin up, gorgeous._

_Until then, Maisie…_

_I love you, darling._

_xoxo, Denny_

I fold the letter back into the envelope, lying down on the couch and crying quietly. I shut my eyes and relive the moment I met Denny. It was homeroom on the first day of high school. He was so handsome and I never knew why someone like him was talking to someone like me.

Denny and I started out as friends, but there was always a lingering mutual affection between the both of us. When he and I reconnected after college, I knew immediately that this was our chance.

I feel something hover along my arm and I open my eyes, glancing around.

Nothing. No one was here but me.

“Denny… If that’s you… I just want you to know that I can’t do this anymore… I miss you too much,” I mumble, my voice trembling.

Suddenly, I hear his voice.

_“I’m always here, Maisie…”_

I look around once more. I lie back down on the couch and sigh, shutting my eyes. “Denny…”

_“Get up… Dance with me.”_

I stand up, keeping my eyes shut. I feel a breeze rush past me and I imagine Denny’s arms wrapped around my frame. I sway slowly to the slow song in my mind. I could feel his body against my own as I move slowly.

“I miss you so much, Denny…”

I feel something graze my temple and I sigh, continuing to move. I didn’t know if I was losing my mind, but right now, I feel Denny’s presence and I wasn’t going to let this moment pass.

_“I miss you too, Maisie…”_


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: _You Are The Reason_ by Calum Scott

I’m staring at the sixth letter, waiting for it to be opened. In the background, the video that Denny managed to edit was playing. His voice filters the entire house, rendering me speechless as I try to get past the steady tears.

I didn’t know what Denny was trying to accomplish with these letters. He thought it would help me move on, cope with his death, but instead, it made me miss him even more. I was supposed to go back to work today, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave.

I had woken up this morning to his lingering, intoxicating scent. I thought I was dreaming, that losing him had been a nightmare. I was disappointed when I opened my eyes to see his side of the bed empty and cold. _Again_.

Half of me is afraid to open this letter, but the other half knew I should. I was torturing myself by continuing this. How was I supposed to cope with his death when all I wanted was to be in his arms?

I wasn’t strong like my mother. I couldn’t live my life without Denny. He had been the main source of my happiness for eight years and poof, just like that, he was _gone_.

I could hear his voice. I could see his naturally glistening brown eyes. I could see his smile. I could feel his arms. I could smell his scent.

Even if I wanted to try and move on, my mind wouldn’t allow me to.

I finally pull my eyes away from the unopened letter to look up at the television. I pause the video and feel another onslaught of tears sting my eyes at the image of Denny and I snuggling together in the back of a cab.

I was never going to experience that again.

I was never going to be in his arms again.

I was never going to see him again.

He and I promised a forever with one another and now, that was gone. My forever died with him. My excitement for the future disappeared.

I used to love waking up to get a fresh start on the day, but now, I dreaded it. Denny wasn’t going to come home to me. He wasn’t going to come through that door with his arms wide open, eager to pull me into one of his tight hugs. He wasn’t going to hold me at night anymore. He wasn’t going to kiss me every morning.

He was **gone** , and I didn’t want to accept it.

Slowly, I open the envelope and take the letter inside. Unfolding it, I notice Denny’s familiar handwriting. A sob catches in my throat. I should have known that this letter was going to come, but somehow, I wasn’t ready.

_Dear Maisie,_

_Hey baby. I hope this letter makes you realize just exactly what I am doing here, with these letters. I don’t have anything left in me to write anymore because as I reminisce about the memories we shared, it just makes me sad._

_It makes me sad because I know if these letters are ever given to you, it’s proof that we lost. We didn’t win this battle, and it pains me to even think about leaving you. We had so many plans, Maisie._

_As these letters remind me of what a wonderful girlfriend you have been for the past eight years, one memory of ours stand out than the rest._

_The first time we said ‘I love you.’_

_Do you remember that night? We were arguing and you wouldn’t stop talking. You just went on and on. I kissed you to shut you up. It definitely worked._

_But when you pulled away, I knew that was the moment I had to tell you. We had been dating for only a year, but I knew on our first date that I loved you. Though, it wasn’t the fact that I admitted my love for you that made it memorable, but the fact that you told me you loved me **too**. _

_Our argument didn’t even matter anymore. I felt all my worries wash away. Hearing those words escape your lips made me the happiest man._

_I loved you then, Maisie, and I love you now._

_I didn’t plan for this. I certainly didn’t want it either. You are my one, baby. **The** one. I have spent many nights imagining you in a beautiful wedding dress, walking down that aisle where I wait at the alter for you. _

_You’re the reason why I wanted to become a better man, to fight and live despite my condition, to be the husband that you deserve._

_If you’re reading this, I want you to know that just because I’m gone doesn’t mean that I’m not there with you. Despite how jealous I can get, I want you to move on. The only thing that I want is for you to be happy, Maisie._

_There will be someone out there for you and just because I couldn’t give you your dream wedding doesn’t mean that it won’t happen. Any man will be lucky to have you, baby._

_I know I was._

_Just know that I had you first, and I will always be yours._

_This is goodbye, Maisie…_

_I’m with you. **Always**. _

_xoxo, Denny_

_P.S. I love you._

I stare at the last four sentences. _This is goodbye, Maisie_. This was it. This was the end of these letters. I knew it was coming, but I didn’t expect it to be so soon. I look up at the television to see Denny’s face and instead of sadness, I feel anger.

How did he expect me to find another man when I spent a good eight years with him? Denny was going to be the man I would spend my life with. There was no one else out there for me.

Suddenly, I no longer feel his presence. The house is eerily quiet and as I look around the bedroom, the aura I felt the past few weeks were gone.

“No! You do not get to tell me goodbye! Do you hear me, Denny?! Y – You promised that you’d fight! You said I could go home to catch up on work! You…” I drop to the floor, crying into my hands.

I want to feel his energy again, to make myself believe that he was here, but I couldn’t. It was gone just as quickly as he left me.

I wipe my eyes and had the sudden urge to leave the house. I couldn’t stay here any longer. I grab my keys and quickly run out to my car, tears streaming down my face as rain begins to pour from the dark grey skies.

Great. Something to go with my mood.

Starting the car, I try to wipe my eyes repeatedly. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea for me to be driving while I was upset, but I couldn’t be in that house. I needed to go somewhere that wouldn’t remind me of Denny.

My windshield wipers rapidly move along my windshield, wiping the fallen rain. My tears are blurring my vision, but I use one arm to wipe it away messily. In an instant, I press my foot further on the gas pedal and jerk forward along the wet pavement.

I didn’t see it.

I had run a red light.

It wasn’t the cars that were honking that made me realize what I had just done, but the tremendous force that an incoming truck hit my side of the car. It causes me, and my car, to roll to its side a few times.

I bump my head against my window, causing a crack to appear which ultimately knocks me unconscious.

I know I was losing blood and the fact that my car had ended up on its roof didn’t help whatsoever. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even feel my body.

I do, however, hear the loud screams, calling me to answer, the reassurances that I was going to be okay. I knew I wasn’t going to be, and I was okay with that.

As I succumb to the numbness, someone from the darkness appears and my breath is instantly taken away from me.

“… Denny?”

“Hey, beautiful.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Well, hello there, gorgeous,” he smiles.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. He’s standing right there. All I had to do was take a few steps and I would be face-to-face with him. I wonder if I was dreaming, but it all felt too real.

“I – What are you doing here?” I ask.

“Me? I should be asking _you_ that. What the hell were you thinking, Maisie?” Denny steps forward, his eyes staring straight into my own. I feel my legs give out, so when his arms immediately snake around me, my hands press to his chest and I feel…

 _Warmth_.

Holy fuck, this is real.

“Denny, where am I? Why are you – What’s going on?”

“Hey, calm down… You’re safe, just tell me why you ran that red light.”

Then, I begin to remember. I was upset, extremely emotional and I decided to leave the house. After the sixth (and final) letter, I couldn’t take it anymore. It was going to be the last connection I had with him and I didn’t want it to be true. I wanted the letters to continue.

“Because of _you_! You had to write me those goddamn letters! It didn’t help me at all, Denny! I just – I missed you even more!”

Denny bites his lower lip, taking a step back. “I thought it’d help…”

“It didn’t! You made me remember every single momentous experience we shared. Hearing your heart beat in that man’s, bringing me back to our first date, the first time we said I love you… It did **not** help! And those videos… The audio files… I missed you even more because I wanted your arms wrapped around me… I wanted to feel your lips against mine, hear your voice whisper against my ear, feel your arms hold me tight, but I fell asleep disappointed every single time!” I yell, tears strolling down my face.

“I needed you and you weren’t there!”

“Maisie…” he whispers softly. “Baby, I was always there…”

“No! No you weren’t! I didn’t see you! I didn’t hear you! I needed my fiancée and you were gone! You left me!”

I’m currently in hysterics, tears continuously rolling down my cheeks. Denny suddenly wraps his arms around me tightly, but that only makes me cry even harder. Wherever I was, whatever this was, I knew (just like the letters) that it would have to come to an end sooner or later.

“Denny, please don’t leave me again…”

He sighs, shutting his eyes and kissing the crown of my head. “I won’t… I won’t ever leave you again,” he promises.

I don’t know how long I was standing there, calming myself down, but I didn’t want to move. Being in Denny’s arms had been something I missed dearly. I missed his warmth, his scent, his strong arms, and the sound of his _beating_ heart.

“Is this real?” I whisper.

“As real as it could be, baby…”

“Why did you write those letters, Denny?”

“I honestly thought it would help. I didn’t mean for it to do the complete opposite…”

“You’re the love of my life and you –”

“Okay, shh, shh. No more water works, okay?” Denny says, cupping my cheek lightly. He brushes his thumb against my lower lip, causing them to part and when he presses his own against mine, I immediately melt into him.

Was this heaven? Because if it was, I don’t think I was ever going to leave.

He pulls back after a moment and smiles, flashing you his charming grins. “I missed that.”

“Oh, you’re telling me,” I reply.

“That night I –”

“Denny…”

“I have to tell you. Please, just let me, okay?”

I didn’t want to hear this, but I knew he was adamant about letting me know. So, I nod, keeping my arms tightly wrapped around him.

“Okay…”

“I don’t blame you. I don’t blame you for not being with me the night I died, Maisie. I told you to go home, to get some work done, and you did, hesitantly too. If I had known that it was going to be the last time –”

“Please, stop…” Tears begin to build at the corner of my eyes, threatening to spill over. “Please, Denny…”

He sighs, nodding and tightening his hold on me. He buries his face against my neck and I hum in approval, shutting my eyes as I revel his hot breath against my skin, the subtle brushing of stubble scratching me ever so lightly.

Wherever I was, I didn’t want to leave.

“Denny, what is this place?”

“You got into a car accident, Maisie… At the moment, the doctors are trying to resuscitate you, stabilize your condition. For now, you’re with me until you decide what you want to do,” he says, pulling back to look into my eyes.

“Until I decide what I want to do?”

“If you want to go back or not,” Denny adds.

“You can’t give me a choice like that because I will choose the latter almost every time.”

“You don’t have to think about it right now, okay? Just let me hold you.”

I nod, allowing myself to relax against him. I’m confused as to what I was doing here, but if I really did have a choice to stay or not, I was going to decide to stay. I lost Denny once, and I don’t think I could lose him again.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks.

“I just missed you… So damn much. The house isn’t the same without you. I kept – I kept wishing that you’d just walk through the front door…”

Denny sighs, cupping my cheek. “You know, I was there with you. When you read the letters, when you cried to sleep… I was _always_ there.”

“What?”

“I promised that I would always be by your side, and I was. I still am. It pained me to see you cry and unable to do anything about it. I missed you so much, Maisie,” tears were pooling around his eyes, making his gorgeous orbs glisten with unshed tears.

“I don’t want to go back… I can’t live a life without you. I’ve tried, damn it. I’ve tried for six months and it did not work.”

“You don’t have to make any official decisions just yet, okay? Let me just hold you.” he offers, kissing along my neck lightly.

Everything felt so real. His lips. His laughter. His warmth.

There was no way I was dreaming all of this up.

“I love you,” I whisper.

Denny smiles, pulling back to look at me. “I love you too.”

My heart skips a beat. I never thought I would ever hear him say those words again. I wrap my arms around his neck, slightly standing on my toes due to the height difference. His own arms wrap tighter around me, holding me flush against his body.

I never wanted to leave.

This was my heaven.


	9. Chapter 9

I didn’t know how long I was staying in his arms, but he nudges me gently and when I look up, our surroundings shift until he and I were standing in the middle of the hospital.

Denny looks down at me, cupping my cheek. “We need to see what condition you’re in, baby.”

“I don’t – I don’t want to,” I mumble.

“I’m right here. I’m not leaving. I promise.”

Denny removes his arms from me, but he takes my hand almost instantly and laces our fingers together. The walk to my hospital room seems to take forever, but I stop him when I notice the small group of people in the waiting room.

More specifically, my mother. She’s in hysterics, crying into her already used tissue as more of my family members try to console her. In this moment, I realize I was being selfish for wanting to stay here with Denny.

I feel tears sting my eyes as it slowly leaks down my cheeks. Denny glances at me and hesitantly wraps his arm around my waist, releasing my hand from his grasp.

“Talk to me,” he whispers.

“How could I even think about staying? I’m going to break my mother’s heart, Denny.”

He sighs, leaning in to kiss my temple. Though, I look away from the waiting room (and most specifically, my mother) and stare up at him. I yearn for Denny to decide for me, but that was simply because I wanted to hear him say that he needed me just as badly as I needed him.

“I can’t help you decide what to do, Maisie… You have to figure it out for yourself. Can you live in a world without me or not?”

“I don’t – I couldn’t do it for the past six months, Denny.”

“Then can you do it for the rest of your life?” he asks softly.

I bite my lower lip. I already had the answer for that, but instead, I turn to bury my face against his chest. He’s quick to wrap his arms around me and settle for the silence before leading me further to my hospital room.

Once there, Denny leads me inside and I feel my breath catch in my throat. I’m hooked up to various machines and there was a bandage wrapped around my head as well as a tube down my throat.

I glance over at Denny who has tears in his eyes. I reach down and squeeze his hand, biting the inside of my cheek.

“Denny?”

“That’s you…” he mumbles. “You’re hurt…”

“Denny…” I repeat, trying to get his attention.

“I caused this… I did this to you,” he steps forward, pulling his hand away from my grasp. I could see a few tears falling from his eyes, staining his cheeks and I bite my lower lip, eager to simply wipe them away.

“Denny, baby… I’m right here.”

“You’re right here because of _me_ , Maisie!” Denny yells, raising his voice unintentionally. I flinch at the sudden increase in volume and hesitantly, I walk over to him, wrapping my arms around him from behind.

“I’m right _here_ …”

His body begins to shake and I realize that he’s crying. I shut my eyes and turn him around to face me. I cup his cheeks immediately, brushing his tears away as I feel the prickly sensation of his stubble against my fingertips.

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore,” he hiccups.

“You never did.”

“I left you…”

“Denny, stop. You didn’t choose to die, dammit!” At the raise of my voice, my heart rate picks up, notifying the nurses to calm me down somehow by the beeping of the machine.

Denny notices and instantly leads me out of the room. When his arms wrap around me, I immediately calm down, burying my face against his neck. “I don’t want you to go, but I can’t keep you here.”

“What am I supposed to do then, Denny?”

“Do you want to leave or do you want to stay?”

“Did _you_ have a choice?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “I wish I did because I would have chosen you over and over every single time, baby…”

“I can’t think about leaving you, Denny. I have spent eight years with you and… We had plans. We had a future. We were –”

“Supposed to have kids,” he finishes.

I nod, “We were supposed to grow old together.”

Denny sighs heavily, resting his forehead against my own. I didn’t know what to do. I thought this decision would have come easy, but seeing my mother in tears made it even more difficult for me.

“I love you, Maisie.”

“I love you too, Denny…”

Instead of bringing me back to my hospital room, Denny leads me to the roof just in time to watch the sunset. We both sit at the ledge, allowing our legs to dangle off it. His arm wraps around my waist, pulling him close to his side.

The comfortable silence consumes Denny and I. I rest my head against his shoulder, watching the sun begin to dip below the horizon. Moments like this made me cherish my time with him even more. I didn’t know what alternate dimension I was in, but I was just glad that Denny was by my side.

“Did you like my letters though?” he asks after a few moments of silence.

“I did…” I look up at him, tearing my gaze away from the beautiful pink hue that painted the sky. “I imagined you every time I read them… I thought I felt you near me, you know? There were nights where I could _feel_ you…”

“I never wanted this life for you, for _us_ ,” he begins. “But I fell in love with you. Eight years isn’t enough time for you and I to spend together. Holding you like this, right now, makes me wish that this moment could last forever.”

“It could,” I whisper softly.

“Can it, though?”

“If I decide to stay… I’ll be with you. We _can_ live our forever.”

“It’s not the question if we can or can’t, but if you _want_ to… If you _decide_ to stay… Are you, Maisie? Going to stay?”

“I don’t know, Denny. I thought this decision would be easier than I thought, but seeing my mother like that… I’d be selfish to stay. Right?”

He sighs in defeat, “I understand.”

“But that doesn’t mean I’m going to leave either.”

“You don’t have much time, Maisie…”

I look up at him and shake my head, grasping his shirt in my grasp. “Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Kiss me, Duquette.”

Despite the sudden change of subject, Denny obliges and leans in to press his lips against my own. I immediately melt into him. His soft lips contrasting with the rough stubble makes me whimper against his lips, causing his tongue to dart out and flick at the roof of my mouth.

I part my lips even further, allowing this brief make-out session to continue. Besides, it had been a long time coming anyway. His hand rests on my thigh, gripping it tightly and after a few more moments, Denny pulls away to catch his breath.

I lick my swollen lips, staring into his eyes with a small smile. “You still are such a good damn kisser,” I blush.

Denny chuckles, looking into my eyes. “Just like you.”

I hold onto him and turn my attention back to the sky, biting my lower lip. Suddenly, I stand up and pull Denny with me.

“Can you take me to the Space Needle?” I ask.

“The Space Needle? Right now? Really?”

“Please?”

Denny smiles, arching a brow teasingly. “Mm, what do I get out of it?”

“A heated make-out session,” I wink.

“Ooh, I’m in. Let’s go.”

He takes my hand and leads me away from the rooftop. I smile at him, my mind racing at various thoughts that begin to scatter in my brain.

Going to the Space Needle will provide me a better understanding of what to decide.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seeing this story come to an end is bittersweet, but I want to thank everyone who enjoyed it just as much as I did writing it!
> 
> Song: _The One_ by Kodaline

In this alternate world, Denny and I are able to somehow transport to our destination. He brings me to the top of the Space Needle, and just like our first date, I feel the nerves build within me. Denny senses my anxiety and wraps his arms around me from behind. He rests his chin on my shoulder and places a soft kiss on my neck.

“I’ve got you… I always do, Maisie,” he whispers into my ear.

I respond simply by snuggling back against him. When we reach the top floor of the Space Needle, I realize that it is completely empty and it must already be closed for the public.

Denny grins, taking my hand instead and slowly twirling me in the open space. I giggle, spinning slowly before colliding lightly against his chest.

“Smooth,” I tease.

“Have I impressed you yet?”

“Oh, all you have to do is smile and I’m putty in your hands.”

Denny chuckles, leading me to the large windows. I could see the stars amongst the night sky. It wasn’t yet completely dark, but it was dark enough for the stars to appear. He looks down at me and slowly stands behind me, wrapping his arms instantly around my frame.

“Is this a bit of dejavu or what?” he asks.

“Definitely. I’m feeling a bit of dejavy,” I smile, resting my arms over his.

Slowly, I lace my fingers atop of his own, reveling in his warmth radiating off my own body. I shut my eyes, allowing a few tears to trickle. I was still lost as to what I was going to decide, but I know that there was no way I was going to leave him.

I tried to live my life after his death, and six months in, I wasn’t able to. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t even go to work…

Denny had been the main reason why I continued to live. He pushed me to be my best when I was feeling down. He had confidence in me that I could be anything, and do anything that I wanted to do. Denny had always been my biggest supporter, and when he died, so did I.

My heart and will to live died with him.

“You’re too quiet, Maisie,” he whispers, taking me out of my thoughts.

I turn around, looking up at him hesitantly. “I just – I’m trying to decide what I want.”

“Did you come up with anything?”

“What if I don’t want to leave? What if I want to stay here with you? Wherever here is…”

Denny sighs, cupping my cheek. “What’s so wrong with not wanting to leave?”

“My mother…”

“Then don’t stay,” he says simply.

“But I can’t leave you,” I whisper, my lower lip quivering slightly. “I always told myself I would never rely on a man to keep me happy, to be the reason for my existence, but that changed when we started dating.”

“Maisie, I’m not going to tell you to stay if that’s what you’re hoping for, but I’m also not going to ask you to leave…”

“When you died, Denny… I felt empty, broken, _alone_ … I thought it’d get better. I thought I’d be able to move forward with my life, but one month turned into six and I couldn’t even go to work. I couldn’t do _anything_ …”

“Maisie…”

“No, I need for you to understand how much you mean to me, Denny. Like you said, eight years wasn’t enough. I had so much planned for us… We were – Goddammit, we were supposed to grow old together,” I repeat.

My tears continue to stroll down my cheeks and despite Denny trying to wipe them away, it wasn’t helping whatsoever. Instead, he leans forward to kiss the tip of my nose, moving to my forehead and finally settling on my lips.

I hiccup against him and Denny just holds me closer, allowing our lips to move. Our kiss is filled with passion and need as if this was the last time we were going to be able to do this. At that thought, I pull away and look up at him, shaking my head.

“Denny…”

“Maisie, if you can’t stay, I’ll understand, baby. I’ll understand.”

I don’t answer, but instead, I rest my forehead against his chest. I cry into it, my arms snaking around him tightly as he holds me against him. After a few minutes of nonstop crying, I pull back and wipe my tears, my eyes swollen and red.

“You okay?” he asks.

“I’m more than okay.”

“Want to head back?”

I shake my head. “Can we stay here for a little while longer?”

“Of course.” Denny takes my hand and leads me outside, sitting at the edge of the railing. I lie back with him and his arm wraps around me, holding me against his side. This position reminds me of the countless nights I had fallen asleep by his side and when I look up at him, I notice that he’s staring at me and thinking the same thing.

“I’m sorry we never had the chance to get married,” Denny says quietly.

“It’s not your fault…”

“I just – I keep thinking that if I wasn’t alone, if I hadn’t told you to leave, would I still be alive?”

I sigh heavily. I really didn’t want to cry again, but I’m sure that the tears that were pooling around my eyes were beginning to leak through. However, I’m aware of just exactly Denny was talking about simply because that thought had crossed my mind.

Maybe I could have noticed something was wrong and notified a doctor, a nurse, anyone that could have saved his life. Instead, I was at home, doing work while my fiancée died alone. It was something I would never forgive myself for.

“I didn’t mention it only for you to blame yourself, Maisie.”

“I should have been there… I should have been by your side, Denny.”

“We didn’t know it’d happen. We can’t predict it. I don’t blame you, so don’t blame yourself. If anyone that feels guilty, it should be _me_. I told you to go home…”

I shake my head, turning my body to face his. My arm drapes around his abdomen and instantly, I tighten my hold around him.

“Can we not talk about it?”

“Okay, okay… What do you want to talk about?” he asks.

“Anything…”

“Do you still have that lingerie set in our closet?”

I giggle, shaking my head and playfully slapping his chest. “ _That’s_ what you’re going to ask me?”

“What? I want to know.”

“Fine. Yes, it’s still in our closet.”

“And our handcuffs?”

“Still in your drawer.”

Denny grins proudly, kissing my temple. “We had some fun, didn’t we?”

“We did…”

He looks down at me and kisses my forehead. “You’ve got to make a decision soon, baby.”

“I know… Can we head back?”

Denny nods, standing up and helping me to my feet. Within moments, we are back at the hospital and I walk past the waiting room to see that my mother wasn’t there. Instead, as I approach my room, I notice her sitting near my bed with my hand in her own.

“Maisie, can you hear me? The doctors and nurses advise that I try and talk to you,” she mumbles, her tears making her voice shaky and quiet.

Denny bites his lower lip, watching as I slowly step towards her. “Mom…”

“Honey, I know it’s hard living without Denny… I feel the same way I do about your father and it has been more than twenty years since he passed.”

I sit next to her, trying to wrap my arms around her but to no avail. I listen, though, tears clouding my eyes once more.

“I’m so proud of everything you’ve done, everything you’ve accomplished. You have always made me so happy, Maisie… Seeing you grow from a little girl to a grown woman right before my eyes has made me the luckiest mother in the world to call you my daughter.” Her thumbs brush against my hand and I look at myself, taking note at how still I am, how pale I looked…

“It’s okay, honey… If you want to be with Denny, I will let you, okay? Just remember to visit me from time to time. Also, say hello to your father for me. It’s time that he take care of you,” she whispers shakily, standing up and pressing a kiss to my bandaged forehead lightly.

“I love you so much, Maisie…”

I stand up, reaching out for my mother. “I love you, mom… So much.”

Denny stands next to me, reaching down to wipe the tears away from my face.

I hadn’t expected my mom to let me go, but I knew that if she was in my position, she would do anything to be with my father again. So, when my mother walks out of my room, I notice her talking to the doctor, crying into her tissue.

“Maisie, you have to decide now,” Denny says, interrupting my thoughts. “Maisie…”

When his hand touches mine, I look up at him and nod. Staring into his eyes, I know that I have made my decision.

“Okay… I – I want to stay with you. I can’t live the rest of my life wishing you were by my side, Denny. My mother… She will be okay. She’s stronger than I ever will be,” I tell him.

There’s a glimmer of relief that flashes through Denny’s eyes, but I know he was questioning my decision.

“Maisie…”

“No. I want you. I will _always_ want you. The past six months have been **hell**. Spending this time with you, for the first time in a really long time, I feel at peace. I can’t let you go again, Denny…”

He nods, and suddenly, a bright light appears behind him. He reaches for my hand and I take it immediately. Glancing over my shoulder, I realize that my mother has left and I shut my eyes, allowing Denny to take me to the light.

“Maisie,” he calls once more.

I open my eyes, staring up at him and noticing that we were no longer at the hospital but in a different realm that was completely bright. I look down at my clothes and notice a white wedding dress while Denny was sporting a white tuxedo. Turning my head, I notice my father and instantly, my breath is taken away from me.

“Dad?”

“My beautiful, little girl,” he smiles.

“Denny, is this –”

“It’s our heaven, baby.”

**\---**

**THE END**


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